Lets just say that the two halves of my life never really met.
My friends and neighbors, when I mentioned "going to class" on the weekends just assumed that it was an art class since they were aware that I am an artist. I never corrected them .
I was afraid.
I was afraid of being labeled I was afraid of people changing how they felt about me. About what they thought about me.
I was essentially living an illusion.
Which is either ironic or hypocritical depending on how you look at it since in my studies I was pursuing the truth and ripping away illusion.
I started small. I opened the door a crack.....
I told my neighbor, a very good friend about what the class actually was .
Shockingly she didn't faint or run away screaming!
She was actually interested.
This gave me courage.
I started mentioning it in passing to some of the people in my life. And I can honestly say that I did not have one bad response.
At this time, I actually started to integrate the message that i really isn't any of my business what other people think of me. I was being true to myself and my path and if others had problems with it, it pointed to their baggage , not a reflection of me.
I did find that more and more people started to come to me with paranormal or metaphysical questions. It was a nice feeling that I wasn't seen as a headcase.
But even if it had gone the other way, and I was shunned by the people I cared most about, It still needed to be done.
I was still not 100% out of the closet. The door was still only opened about 40%.
Fast forward to Face book.
Most of my friends are on Face book. I have a love hate relationship with the social media outlets.
(I'll save that discussion for another post)
A recent job loss and some other shifts in my life have pushed me to expand my healing circle. I am use to working with and for the people who are closest to me. Most of the people on my facebook page had no idea about my spirituality. And I was fine with that. People I just interact with on line I reasoned are on a need to know basis. In other words, I did not need them to know.
I am not in the habit of proclaiming my beliefs. I keep them private. Its my right. right?
Well after designing this website I realized that in order to get the word out there of what I had to offer I had to get out there on a larger scale.
You would think I would have learned form before.
Clearly I do not learn my lessons so easily.
I took a deep breath that lasted 3 days and finally posted it.
Again, the earth shattering quiet. Only no unfriending going on (and really would that be awful?) and tons of positive comments.
Which had me realize 2 things. 1. More and more people are open to the idea that there is much more that they can see or prove than ever...and 2. It hit home (hard) that I got energy from others reactions to me. I know I need to shift out of this pattern, but how wonderful that I was able to learn a lesson in such an easy manner.....some lessons can be, shall we say...much more of a challenge!